Mixed Feelings

I'm feeling a bit of a failure today. After stating in my other blog that I was going to go walking every day, I only managed that one day and haven't done it since because of the weather. I know I ought to make more of an effort, but really can't get motivated to do it when the sun isn't shining. This is a 'head thing' and something that I really need to get sorted. I do own an umbrella so there should be no problem with me going out, whatever the weather. If worst comes to worst I also have my treadmill which I should be pounding away on having not been out. I can feel me sabotaging myself but can't seem to do anything about it.

One thing I did manage to do today was to go through my kitchen cupboards and chuck out everything out of date and sort out for disposal all the things that I won't be able to eat after Easter (with, I have to admit, the exception of my cajun food collection - that is going nowhere and I have to live with the fact that if I choose to stuff myself with all that wonderful food then I'll be paying for it for a while).

The one thing I have got my head round with the IPD is that it is a change for life, not just for a few weeks or months. It is vital that I stick to it 100% for at least the first 2 weeks which is why I am not starting till after Easter - but I'm positive I can do it. I am determined to be smaller for Jo's wedding if only so that I feel more comfortable in the baking heat, although of course it would be lovely to fit into something not resembling a tent too.

Today my M&S magicwear dresses turned up. They seem tiny due to the control fit (I knew they wouldn't fit immediately) but this (the black one, not yet sure about the check) is my first motivational goal. I WILL FIT INTO THAT DRESS!

One good thing about changing my eating habits is the quality of my meals. I am finally cooking again and everything tastes delicious. Tonight's meal was a starter of prawn and avocado followed by a marlin steak marinated in fresh lemon & lime juice, with a touch of chili oil, balsamic vinegar and black pepper with a baked potato (properly baked rather than microwave pinged as I usually do as it'll be one of the last I'll be having) and green french beans and broccoli. I was supposed to have a baked banana with some greek yoghurt for dessert, but I am too full (yay!)

Tomorrow will be a bit of a challenge as I will be eating out before the concert - but I'm intending to take cous cous bolognese for lunch and that and the scrambled egg I'll be having for breakfast should give me plenty of scope for food later in the day. Tomorrow I also get to try the Rooibos tea that I bought a few days ago as my spiced chai ones have run out. I haven't yet managed to work out wheter I can continue to have my spiced chai teabags during phase 1, I have a feeling that I can't as they aren't decaffeinated. I just hope that the Rooibos tastes OK. I'm already not looking forward to having to switch to soya milk (I still remember how awful it tasted the last time I had some, although I'm hoping that was 'cos it was sweetened).